Weddings and Funerals

Hey everyone!


Yesterday I went to support a friend who just lost her grandmother. I had mentioned that it had been a while since we had really sat and chatted and she replied "Yeah, the only time you ever see people anymore are weddings and funerals."

As odd as it sounded, she's right.

I get invitations to attend weddings of friends that I haven't heard from in a while. I appreciate the gesture, but I find it awkward to attend someones soiree if I haven't really seen them in at least a year, or keep in regular contact with them. But for whatever reason, weddings and funerals bring people out of the wood work.

Since announcing my engagement, I've had several people share that they are excited about the wedding. While I appreciate that they are happy for me, that doesn't guarantee that they will be attending. It may sound harsh, but I'm not inviting you if the last time we really hung out was me pushing you on a swing, sitting next to you in a class, etc. It would just be impossible.

Same with funerals. When my grandmother passed away, I had several people remember me, but I had no clue who THEY were. They remembered me when I was a young kid, or being involved in my dad's church, but the conversation was one sided. How can you ask about people you don't remember? (If you know a way, please share, it would make awkward pleasantries much smoother.)

I guess my point is: why do people lose contact for months, years, decades, and then come around only when you are experiencing great joy or sorrow? And why is it that once the event has passed, you go back to your own life? Why do people not stick around after reconnecting?

As all of this was swirling around in my little noggin, I thought "Am I to this stage of my life already? When did THAT happen! HOW did that happen!?" Between Facebook, email, texting, video chat, and Twitter, along with the good old snail mail, how do we still lose contact? You hear so many stories of people reconnecting on a social network and getting married (I being one of those people), so it jarred me to think that people are still losing touch, or not keeping in touch, in spite of how easy it is any more.

On the flip side, just because you have these outlets doesn't mean that you still really know the person. I mean come on, people post their wedding, pregnancy, baby, kid, family, pet, vacation, and boredom pics online constantly. Doesn't mean I know them any better, other than they got married, pregnant, had the kid, got a dog, went to Zimbabwe, and got bored. But what about their spouse, and kids, and family? People change, outlooks change, priorities change. That's not really something you can grasp in the virtual world.

Due to our school and work and distance, I haven't really seen my friend face to face much. But in just the last few interactions I have had with her, she's still the same girl I knew when we were 15; she still loves to crack jokes, is kind of a spazz, and has an odd fixation with guinea pigs. But she also, for I feel the first time, is dating someone who loves all of that and keeps her grounded, and compliments her personality without trying to extinguish her core fun loving personality. Facebook doesn't show me that. Facebook just shows me the surface.

What about you? Are you guilty of swooping in on moments of joy and sorrow only to duck back out? Why? Hit the comments and let me know, and then for Heaven's sake get up from your computer and catch up over some coffee with an old friend!! :)